Answering My Own Questions
How convinced am I that I’ve really conquered the fear and that I’m ready to quit the game?
It’s been a month since I newly fell in love. It was a feeling like no other. I actually did not expect to fall in love this year, let alone on a month so stressful, I wanted to kill myself. To recall the scene….there he sat…with his friends…
Let’s skip to the part where I found him cute. LOL
(fast-forward!!!)
He has long hair. Need I say more? =)
Anyway, days after, we met up again. I wasn’t really sure if I was only attracted to him because I got bored or if I really had a connection with him from the moment we first conversed. Like every beginning, there’s fear. There’s confusion.
Here’s the thing, before I met him, I was totally afraid of boys. I was scared to the point that I played them for fools as a way to prevent myself from getting hurt. It didn’t get me anywhere. No boost in self-esteem, no freedom from drama, no intellectual gain…no bullshit even, no thrill, no nothing!
And then he came. I felt sort of…confident! Finally, there’s drama…and I’m surprisingly okay with it! I got inspired to learn in spite of being too lazy to study. I experienced bullshit more than I’ve bargained for. I was, and still am, thrilled. I’m finally feeling a mix of emotions, such that I couldn’t care less if they were bad or good ones.
Inspired with the new-found meaning in life, here I am, writing about it like a love-struck girl in her teens, cheesier than ever. Been listening to happy love songs lately. When I listen to gloomy ones, I don’t get carried down. Even Adele’s voice can’t get me down. This says a lot since I am the kind of person who easily relates to songs I listen to. But I am happy, irregardless. I am thankful. I am in a bliss.
So to answer whether I have conquered the fear…
I guess…
I really have.
About the game…
I’m through playing.
Am I still confused?
Not anymore.
Do I love him?
Believe me…
I do.
Look @ Me Now!
I DON’T SEE HOW YOU CAN HATE FROM MY SIDE OF THE CLUB…
YOU CAN’T EVEN GET IN! HAHA!
YELLOW BOTTLE SIPPIN’
YELLOW LAMBORGHINI
YELLOW TOP
…MISSIN’!
YEAH, YEAH! THAT SHIT LOOK LIKE A TOUPEE!
I GET WHAT YOU GET IN TEN YEARS….IN TWO DAYS!
IF YOU GET WHAT I GET, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
AND THEM SUICIDE DOORS… HARI-KARI!
45 Lessons Life Taught Me (written by Regina Brett)
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it..
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you, really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone, everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
